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Everton 2 Newcastle United 2
Sir Alex Ferguson once famously said, “Football eh? What a cunt.” Well, something like that anyway, and the strawberry-nosed Scot words reflected the emotions of Evertonians following a veritable ‘ding...
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Wigan Athletic 2 Everton 2
A lethargic first-half performance and some dubious refereeing meant that Everton had to settle for a point against a Wigan side who were far tougher than their early season form […]
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Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Hey, sometimes even the most obvious and clichéd headlines are just too darned irresistible. This one, courtesy of everyone’s favourite baggy-trousered Jesus-jostling MC – Hammer, or Stanley Kirk...
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Reading And England And That
On the back of their slightly ropy but ultimately exhilarating comeback against Sunderland last weekend, Everton pay a visit to yet another team who fall under the category of ‘really […]
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Everton 1 Norwich City 1
We all know the details by now. A distinctly patched up Everton side took an early lead in the first half, looked ropy as all fuck in the second but […]
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Everton 1 Arsenal 1
‘Fuck off you fucking Kopite they haven’t even kicked off yet.’ That was the reply the poor old fella in the chippy on Goodison Road got when he informed his […]
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Manchester City 1 Everton 1
There’s always a fear, no matter how well you are playing, that when you go away to the league champions you are going to learn some harsh truths. With Manchester […]
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Newcastle United 1 Everton 2
Imagine a few years ago some Geordies sitting watching Shola Ameobi being generally cack and turning to his mates and saying, ‘One day he’ll be partnered up front by his […]
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Everton 0 Swansea City 0
What promised to be a feast of football between sides managed by two of the most progressive managers in the Premier League actually ended up something of a bore. Michael […]
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Everton 2 West Bromwich Albion 1
‘You can fuck off and take your mate’s fucking knee with you,’ is one of the more esoteric shouts heard at Goodison Park in recent times. It came after Johnny […]
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A New Career In A New Town
Well, they are all back in training, doing fancy exercises around flag poles and ostentatiously ‘rehydrating’ wearing them weird monitoring sports bras, and it’s a far cry from the […]
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Blackburn Rovers 1 Everton 3
Oh man, don’t you wish the Blues would hurry up and get snotted by Juventus just so we can read something on Newsnow other than ‘United interested in Belgian […]
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Friendly Fire
The Premier League season lurches ever closer and Evertonians continue to try and get some indication of just how different Roberto Martinez’s team will be to that of David Moyes. […]
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Betis Hotpot
There's something weird about the last friendly of the summer, when they break the seal on Goodison and allow us our first tentative whiff of the new season. It's […]
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Everton 2 Real Betis 1
To be fair to Roberto Martinez he managed to be really positive following an absolutely miserable performance in the final friendly before the start of the Premier League Hunger Games. […]
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After the Goldrush
‘Insulting’, ‘derisory’, ‘a bit last’ and ‘cunty’. All words used in certain quarters to describe Manchester United’s £28 million bid for Marouane Fellaini and Leighton Baines. Various reports keep […]
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West Bromwich Albion Preview
Everton would like to issue a warm welcome to West Brom, famously nicknamed ‘Big Ron’s alibi’, for the first home round of the 2013/14 Premier League Tekken Tag Team […]
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Stevenage and Cardiff and That
As someone once famously said: the more something changes, the more it stays the same. It was probably Huey Lewis. So, let’s get one thing straight, playing badly against lower […]
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Cardiff City 0 Everton 0
Four games in and already these match reports feel a bit monotonous. Faced with another side who Everton really should expect to beat, they once again dominated the possession but […]
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Everton 1 Chelsea 0
It’s weird to keep reading José Mourinho making out that Chelsea battered Everton on Saturday but simply failed to convert their chances. Both sides were fairly cagey, passing the ball […]
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